President Bush could learn something from my father about how to deal with hypocrites. After all, he has to deal with so many in Congress, the media and around the world. A little help might be useful, right? My father has a great tactic he likes to use with such people...he confronts them with their contradictions head on.
When I was 7, I was playing ball with the other kids in my neighborhood. I was playing centerfield and a pop-up came my way. I raised my mitt, but caught the ball on the tip of my right middle finger, instead. Well, It hurt and in my pain, I let fly a certain four-letter expletive. (No, not that one, the other one. After all, it was only my first time.) Anyway, when the other kids heard what I had said, they grabbed me by the arm and took me down the street to tell my father.
Of course, I was scared. My father had rules and I was sure I was in big trouble. When he came out, the oldest boy in the group, Kenny, thrust me forward and told my father what I said. My father looked at the group for a moment, then down at me. "Francis, go inside and I'll talk to you in a minute." I went in, but waited inside the door where I could still see and hear.
Dad looked at the group of ten or so kids, then chuckled and folded his arms. Then he did something surprising. He got mad at them. "You bunch of little hypocrites! Who are you to criticize anyone's language? I've heard you all say things that would make sailors blush. I don't need a bunch of "Dead End Kids" telling me how to raise my son. His punishment is none of your business, now go home before I call your parents and tell them about your filthy little mouths!"
I remember the sound of feet running fast off the driveway. I quickly ran from the door and went to sit in the den, awaiting my punishment. When Dad came in, he was mad, maybe more at the other kids than at me, but I was still scared. He sat down and asked me what happened and I told him, with tears in my eyes. He gave me a lecture, and said, "OK, go to your room until dinner. No playing and don't do it again!" I also lost one week's allowance.
Now, pay attention to the lesson. My father didn't punish me because a group of neighborhood miscreants told on his son and he had to save face. Neither did he punish me because he was afraid of what the other parents on the block would think. He truly didn't care. He punished me because I knew better, and I broke a rule that was based on my father's own personal barometer of right and wrong for a 7-year old.
The incidents at Abu-Ghraib prison were wrong and the soldiers who committed them should be punished. But, we shouldn't do it out of a sense of embarrassment or shame, neither should we do it because the world is watching. France, Germany and Russia, and many other nations have enough blood on their hands and should see to their own offenses. We also shouldn’t punish the soldiers because the terrorists are upset. We, in America, have a national barometer for right and wrong, based on laws. Those soldiers violated it...end of discussion.
The lesson is that it's OK to call a hypocrite one to his face. It's OK to get mad. It's also OK to express it. With all due respect, it's time for a little righteous indignation form the president. After all, the 9-11 terrorists didn't walk into the world trade center, put hoods on 3,000 innocent civilians and parade them around naked, now did they?
This article was previously published in the Waterbury (CT) Republican-American, June 2004.
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