Periodiclly, I go through times of deep introspection. Lately, I have been focusing on my fundamental principles and belief systems. As a result, I have reached an epiphany. I have decided I no longer want to "tolerate" other ethnicities, religions, races, genders, or lifestyles. Here's why.
Check any thesaurus and you will find some or all of the following synonyms for tolerate:
stand, bear, abide, put up with, endure, stomach, stand for, allow
One thesaurus actually defines tolerance as "the capacity to bear something unpleasant, painful or difficult." Clearly, according to these synonyms, that which is being tolerated has a negative connotation.
The problem with the politically correct concept of tolerance is its inherent misuse of the word. When did tolerate become synonymous with "treat fairly or equally?" The more I thought about his, the more confused I became. This spin violates the meaning of the word as I always understood it and just does not make sense. One can tolerate alcohol, or the cold or heat, or even an obnoxious person. However, it hardly seems right or fair to tolerate someone for just being different.
Instead, it sounds a lot like prejudice.
So, no, I do not want to be tolerant. I think I would rather be ignorant. That may sound odd at first, but think about it. The same thesaurus lists synonyms for ignorant as unaware or uninformed. If our true objective is that all people should be treated equally, ignorance makes more sense than tolerance.
Openness is a wonderful concept. However, we pay too high a price when it comes at the expense of courtesy, discretion, modesty, or privacy. In truth, I do not care, or need, to know the personal or intimate details of most people's lives. I certainly do not want them thrown in my face to advance media ratings or political motives. Like most people, I judge others as individuals, not as representatives of a specific group. The differences I am expected to tolerate play no part in how I treat someone. Although I may recognize the differences, I seldom focus on them.
Putting word games aside, the answer is simple. We must abolish the "us" and "them" mentality and focus on similarities. After all, when people first meet, they hardly stare each other up and down pointing out differences. Instead, they look for common ground, a shared friend, or interest...something on which to form a connection. We should be building our future as a society and a nation in the same way.
Today, however, we are so focused on differences that it is all we ever talk about anymore. I have heard it referred to as diversity sensitivity. The expectation is that by emphasizing differences, people will get along better. Unfortunately, this is seldom the case. History shows that prejudice, hate, and violence thrive in environments that are difference-centered. Today's headlines are full of examples: Arab and Jew; Protestant and Catholic; black and white; Serb and Croat; gay and straight; the list goes on.
It amazes me that many of those with influence in our country cannot see this simple and obvious truth. Sadly, because of short sightedness, personal agendas, or plain ignorance, they continue to make things worse. Our nation's founders knew better. They chose our first motto with great foresight and purpose: "E pluribus, Unum," "Out of many, one."
We may quibble over methods, but if we look at it objectively, our similarities far outweigh our differences. Essentially, our goals and desires are all the same. More than 100 years ago, Teddy Roosevelt rightly spoke out against what he called "hyphenated-Americans." The only ones who stand to gain from dividing people into opposing groups are those making up the categories. The rest of us suffer from their lack of vision.
If our differences are not important enough to be criteria for fair treatment, then they are not important enough to mention all the time. While they enrich our culture and can provide unique perspectives to help solve some problems, we need to be careful how much attention we pay them. Only by taking full advantage of our many similarities, can our nation and our society grow, prosper, and finally achieve the stability it needs to endure.
I only hope the PC crowd can learn to tolerate my ignorance.
A version of this article was published in the Waterbury (CT) Republican-American, October, 2003.
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