I Hate Euphemisms

In one of his HBO specials from the 1980s, I remember watching George Carlin rant about how euphemisms had invaded our language. He gave examples like "handi-capable" instead of handicapped, or "minimally exceptional" instead of stupid. One of the best examples was the change in the name of the condition ascribed to soldiers whose nerves had been fried from too much combat. In WWI, it was called "shell shock." In WWII, it changed to "battle fatigue." By Korea, it had morphed further into "operational exhaustion." Each time, Carlin would comment on the increasing syllable count and the decreasing connection with sufferer or cause.

By Viet Nam, it had finally settled into "post-traumatic stress disorder." "Still eight syllables," commented Carlin, referring back to operational exhaustion, "but we've added a hyphen...and the pain is completely buried under jargon!" He finished his rant by saying "I'll bet you if we'd of
still been calling it shell shock, some of those Viet Nam veterans might have gotten the attention they needed at the time. I'll betcha. I'll betcha."

This phenomenon is still happening. You have to listen to see it's all around us and getting worse. Employees are now associates. Lay-offs are reductions in force. On the humorous side. Prostitutes are called sex workers and their pimps are called gatekeepers. Nowhere, however, is it more prevalent, and dangerous, than in the discussion of border security.

Follow me on this...

First, they were called "illegal aliens" - simple - direct. They're not Americans, and they've broken our laws getting or staying here. Then, in the early stages of the PC movement, they became "illegal immigrants" - a little softer, after all, aliens evokes images of little green men, not people. Next they were known as "undocumented immigrants." Eight syllables now, and the crime is has been almost completely stripped from the phrase. In fact, calling them undocumented instead of illegal actually makes it sound like it's our fault, doesn't it?

Finally, thankst to the careful twisting and turning of politicians on both sides of the aisle, some lawyers, the ACLU and the media, they are now officially "undocumented workers." Down a syllable, but it highlights the reasons some of them came, and the crime is completely buried under propaganda. Undocumented workers. I'll bet you if we'd of still been calling them "illegal aliens", then border security might have gotten the attention it needed at the time.

And I might not have to "press 1" for English...

And unemployment might be a little lower...

And the 9-11 terrorists might not have been able get in.

I'll betcha.

I'll betcha.